Creating Harmony

I find it so easy to create harmony in the looks of my home - add a decoration here, paint a wall to harmonize or soothe, quilt a wall hanging to promote the southwest look; I wish creating harmony in my relationships was as easy. It seems so easy sometimes to get frustrated when a coworker or family member is closed off and hard to reach. I find myself wanting to be kind, but acting defensively instead because I am afraid of being rejected in my efforts to reach out, and sometimes just feeling plain ornery because I want things to be easy and smooth rather than stiff and awkwardly hard. I so admire the people I come in contact with that seem to put everyone around them at ease, make me feel appreciated , and have others wanting to gravitate to them. What is it exactly that they do - or don't do - that everyone just seems to feel happy around them? While on the other hand, there are those who immediately have me feeling uptight, as though I were a nuisance, and make me want to hide myself away in my office or room so I don't have to deal with them. What do they do - or not do? And what part do I play in furthering the happiness or uptightness with my reactions? Could I change the uptightness to happiness with the right reactions, or is this just part of the world as it is. Should I reach out more, or leave the vicinity if I'm feeling uptight? Which will create harmony in my life in the best possible way. Colors are easy - either they work together or they don't; you simply change them if they don't. People are much more complex, and sometimes I feel like a child in my level of understanding them and in helping both myself and them towards harmony.